Tag Archive | "Wayne Rooney"

Gunning For A Title



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Can Captain Cesc lead Arsenal to glory?

Can Captain Cesc lead Arsenal to glory?

After Stoke City’s Ricardo Fuller nodded in two goals last weekend to send the Britannia into euphoria, Arsenal are now in contention for only two major trophies this season and that could be a blessing for them. The distraction of the FA Cup would certainly be a pleasurable one to have, but I’m curious to see them go at the English title with everything they’ve got. If they can remain injury free and manage to stay clear of letdowns against underdog opposition, this fiery bunch of lads could challenge at least for second place and give the favorites something to think about.

The next two weeks will go a long way in determining the Gunner’s BPL fate. Starting with Manchester United this morning, Arsenal go on to face Chelsea and Liverpool in their next two league matches—a daunting task indeed. United present the challenge of stopping Wayne Rooney (he of the 13 goals in his last 13 matches), while Chelsea welcome back their African Nations Cup stars, and Liverpool is always a tough match—regardless of their league position.

Today’s match against United should be a humdinger and if Arsenal doesn’t want their title aspirations dashed, they need to continue the fine defensive form they have recently displayed against Sir Alex’s squad. William Gallas and his merry men have only conceded ONE natural goal in open play to United in their last THREE league meetings. That should prove to be a little more difficult with Gallas’ running mate Thomas Vermaelen out injured, leaving the ancient Sol Campbell to fill his boots. And those who saw Campbell’s performance against Stoke should not be filled with confidence.

And it isn’t just in defense that the Gunner’s have suffered injury. Robin Van Persie, Nicklas Bendtner, and Samir Nasri have all missed extensive time this season. But it doesn’t matter. Arsenal has one thing no other team in the league has—Cesc Fabregas. Believe me when I tell you that I’m about as partial to this kid as Michael Vick is to French poodles, but it’s near impossible not to admit his improvement since the summer break. Last season, I thought the Spaniard was just another overzealous youngster with nothing more than an occasional eye for the crossbar. But this season, he seems to have come out from underneath his big brother’s ball box to play Geppetto in the Arsenal midfield. His goals have been crucial and his pinpoint passes have provided his non-injured teammates excellent chances on goal.

There’s a lot of good to be said for this talented bunch of lads. In fact, I’d go as far as to wager a second place bet in favor of the Arsenal. I believe they’re going to continue to score goals and as long as the rocky back four that played against Stoke City in the FA Cup are never again assembled on a football pitch until the day an Avatar is President, they should be fine defensively. So going into this very difficult couple of weeks, every Gunner should be excited, but they should also be aware that a loss to United tomorrow could lead to another trophy-less year at the Emirates.

M. Junia Stainbank

Posted in FEATURES, OPINION, What's Going On?Comments Off

Did I Do That?



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FAMILY MATTERS

Do you remember the early 90s sitcom Family Matters? You probably remember it as the Steve Urkel show. And you may remember his catch phrase ‘Did I do that?’ Well, that’s what’s the news is like today, a bunch of people making some bad decisions.

French club Rennes has been charged with poaching teenager Tongo Hamed Doumbia from Châteauroux, a Ligue 2 side. It wouldn’t be so funny if they hadn’t accused Manchester City of doing the same thing to them. Maybe someone needs to translate the old adage about people in glass houses into French.

It looks like there’s been a little bust-up at Aston Villa between manager Martin O’Neill and disgruntled midfielder Nigel Reo-Coker. Some reports say that Reo-Coker got physical and pushed and choked O’Neill. The manager denies Reo-Coker went all Latrell Spreewell, but he did give the hot-headed midfielder the weekend off.

Liverpool may be sitting in fifth place and seven points behind BPL leaders Chelsea, but that doesn’t worry Steven Gerrard. Captain Liverpool feels the club is starting to heat up and that the African Cup of Nations will work in the Reds favor. There’s nothing like back-to-back victories over powerhouses Burnley and Debrecen to fill up one’s cup of confidence.

Arsene Wenger might want to move on from ‘Manu-Gate,’ but it’s still fresh in Cesc Fabregas’ mind. The Arsenal captain claims the out-of-control Adebayor made a reckless tackle that left him with stud marks and a three inch gash on his shin. I don’t think this story will ever die—unfortunately.

On the subject of hot-heads, the real reason for Wayne Rooney’s temper tantrum after being substituted during Manchester United’s 1-0 win at Besiktas mid-week has been revealed. Apparently he was spat on by some Besiktas fans. It’s a good thing we’ve nipped this potential ‘Gate’ in the bud.

Posted in Steve Martin, What's Going On?Comments Off

The Drunk’s Back With Winners



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You can bet your balls that the Drunk's got picks.

You can bet your balls that the Drunk's got picks.

So you may be wondering where I’ve been, and the answer is a little place called none-of-your-g*d-damn-business. Actually after giving you so many winners last year, I decided to take a rest from being the best handicapper on the web Natural Hat Trick. So instead of giving you just three money picks, I’m going to give you the result of all eight of today’s matches. Bold I know, but then again I am The Drunk. Let’s hit it. Read the full story

Posted in The Angry DrunkComments Off

Manchester United’s Got Seoul



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In yet another attempt by Manchester United to convince Asians that they should root for them and not Real Madrid or Manchester City, United have produced these two thought provoking commercials to promote their upcoming Asia Tour 2009.

The first spot is just plain unfunny or maybe it’s because I don’t understand Malaysian humor that I don’t find it humorous. Either way, in just thirty seconds it leaves me with so many questions. Why is Wayne Rooney laughing? Is he making fun of the Malaysian language? Is Manchester United mocking Malaysians while asking them to give them money? Why is Michael Carrick included in the spot? Do Malaysians love Michael Carrick? Watch and see if you don’t think about these things.

The second one asks the players what they think about the city of Seoul. The most entertaining part of the entire ad is how little the players want to be a part of it. It’s like they caught them on their way to their cars after training and forced them to shoot a commercial. Watch how quickly Ryan Giggs runs off after he’s done. But it’s always fun to see Nemanja Vidic speak. One question: Why is Park Ji Sung speaking in English? Even if it is for the English market, it’s about Korea. They could have sub-titled it. I don’t know, just seems strange to me.

Posted in Steve MartinComments Off

Once A Blue, Always For Roo



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Wayne as a young blue.

Wayne as a young blue.

According to The Sun, if pregnant wife Coleen pops out a boy, Wayne Rooney plans on raising him as an Everton supporter. Not sure how that will go down in the Manchester United dressing room, or with the Toffees who haven’t forgiven him.

Posted in Steve MartinComments Off

Jose’s Punch Out



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tyson

F*ck the introduction today. JOSE MOURINHO ALLEGEDLY PUNCHED A MANCHESTER UNITED FAN. REPEAT. JOSE MOURINHO ALLEGEDLY PUNCHED A MANCHESTER UNITED FAN. When I was watching the match yesterday I thought he looked a little disheveled. But apparently that was just the tip of the iceberg. Not only is he not special anymore, he’s a common street brawler.

Surprisingly, there’s other news today.

As much as Thierry Henry tried to kick racism out of football, it seems the campaign just isn’t taking off in the boot shaped land. Didier Drogba has claimed his was racially abused by Juventus supporters during their match in Turin on Tuesday. I normally would make a joke but racism isn’t funny.

Of course racism isn’t limited to Italy, as Everton’s Victor Anichebe can attest. The Toffee striker was looking in a jewelry store window when police mistook him for a jewel thief. They released him after confirming he’s not a thief but just a crappy player. (There’s the joke.)

Now back to those friendly Italians. A minibus carrying a group of Arsenal fans en route to their match against Roma at the Stadio Olimpico was hijacked by a bunch of ultras. One supporter was stabbed, but fortunately was OK. Swift to act UEFA, after threatening to move the Champions League final from Rome if there were any violent episodes in Rome before then, have decided the show will go on as planned. Considering the final will likely feature an English team and the recent history of violence against English teams in Italy the past few years, I’m sure nothing will go wrong.

Speaking of hijacking, a Gulf War hero pilot was fired from his job for breaking anti-terrorist laws by letting a Premiership player ride in the cockpit with him. The real crime is that the player was Robbie Savage.

Sepp Blatter knows all about bureaucracy. The FIFA president, long accused of being anti-English, stated he actually likes English football. He also admitted he enjoys human error, so maybe he just likes everything and everyone.

Another man who enjoys the English is Barcelona manager Pep Guardiola. Instead of facing Porto or Villarreal in the next stage of the Champions League, he wants one of the four remaining English clubs. That’s good news for Frank Lampard, who wants nothing to do with Liverpool in the next round.

It’s also good news for Wayne Rooney. The Manchester United striker would love to face Liverpool in the next round. It appears that he’s less than fond of the Reds.

That’s the news today and remember—JOSE MOURINHO ALLEGEDLY PUNCHED A MANCHESTER UNITED FAN.

Posted in Steve Martin, What's Going On?Comments Off

You’ve Seen the Nutmeg, Now Watch the Ad



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We’ve previously aired the footage of Wayne Rooney getting punked by a local boy while shooting a Nike commercial. Now watch the finished product.

Posted in Jason ParkerComments Off

Jokes on Roo!



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Its good to laugh at yourself.

It's good to laugh at yourself.

During a recent shoot for his new Nike commercial, an unknown teenager pulls a fast one on Wayne Rooney. In the warm-up before filming was to begin, this local boy nutmegs the Wazza. To see the footage click here.

Posted in Jason ParkerComments Off


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