Tag Archive | "Steven Gerrard"

Did I Do That?



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FAMILY MATTERS

Do you remember the early 90s sitcom Family Matters? You probably remember it as the Steve Urkel show. And you may remember his catch phrase ‘Did I do that?’ Well, that’s what’s the news is like today, a bunch of people making some bad decisions.

French club Rennes has been charged with poaching teenager Tongo Hamed Doumbia from Châteauroux, a Ligue 2 side. It wouldn’t be so funny if they hadn’t accused Manchester City of doing the same thing to them. Maybe someone needs to translate the old adage about people in glass houses into French.

It looks like there’s been a little bust-up at Aston Villa between manager Martin O’Neill and disgruntled midfielder Nigel Reo-Coker. Some reports say that Reo-Coker got physical and pushed and choked O’Neill. The manager denies Reo-Coker went all Latrell Spreewell, but he did give the hot-headed midfielder the weekend off.

Liverpool may be sitting in fifth place and seven points behind BPL leaders Chelsea, but that doesn’t worry Steven Gerrard. Captain Liverpool feels the club is starting to heat up and that the African Cup of Nations will work in the Reds favor. There’s nothing like back-to-back victories over powerhouses Burnley and Debrecen to fill up one’s cup of confidence.

Arsene Wenger might want to move on from ‘Manu-Gate,’ but it’s still fresh in Cesc Fabregas’ mind. The Arsenal captain claims the out-of-control Adebayor made a reckless tackle that left him with stud marks and a three inch gash on his shin. I don’t think this story will ever die—unfortunately.

On the subject of hot-heads, the real reason for Wayne Rooney’s temper tantrum after being substituted during Manchester United’s 1-0 win at Besiktas mid-week has been revealed. Apparently he was spat on by some Besiktas fans. It’s a good thing we’ve nipped this potential ‘Gate’ in the bud.

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Place Your Bets



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Thank G*d! After weeks of the new season being dominated by the various ‘Gates’, we’ve got stories of all varieties today. People leaving, people throwing tantrums and some people’s deity status in decline. It’s like a great episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta or at least Real Housewives of Orange County.

Let’s start in Argentina where the national team and its legendary coach Diego Maradona are in more than crisis mode. Juan Sebastian Veron, he of the red card in last Wednesday’s loss to Paraguay, has sounded off against Maradona, blaming him for Argentina’s struggles. Meanwhile, it seems the stress is getting to the 1986 World Cup hero, reports have Maradona checking into a weight loss clinic in Italy. Why do I get the feeling that Maradona won’t be in charge of the Albicelestes for the last two qualifying matches?

Don’t expect Liverpool to go all Manchester City with their newfound shirt sponsor riches (surprising, eh?). Owner Tom Hicks claims that, financially, ‘they have never been stronger.’ He also calls City’s method of operation unsustainable. That might be true if they weren’t backed by an oil sheik, and I don’t see him running out of money any time soon. Unless, of course, everyone starts driving solar cars in the next ten years (sound of muffled laughter).

In other Liverpool news, UK betting house Paddy Power has scrapped a plan to place odds on which Reds’ house will be broken into next. Just in case you care (and I know you do), Jamie Carragher, Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres were the favorites at 12/1 odds.

It looks like Hull City’s in serious financial trouble. And it not just the cost of Phil Brown’s spray-on tan that’s to blame. Of course the club denies it. But we did see chairman Paul Duffen slipping into a Paddy Power and placing ten grand on Steven Gerrard.

On the subject of betting, German betting site mybet.de has released its Bundesliga managerial hot seat oddsFIVE WEEKS INTO THE SEASON! It wouldn’t be so sad and funny if two managers haven’t already left their clubs. Talk about results now.

I was beginning to think he had mellowed since moving to Italy, but Jose Mourinho is back (unfortunately Special 1 TV isn’t). The Special One has told England national team manager Fabio Capello he ‘knows nothing about football.’ If only we could see them fight it out in puppet form.

Let’s give the Harraby Athletic under-14 squad a big round of applause. The youngsters beat the Edenvale Hawks 3-2 to put an end to a small 90 game losing streak they’ve been on. No word if Alan Pardew was managing the club during the streak.

In some other feel good news, 24-year-old Danish footballer Christian Nielsen has quit football to travel the world and work in an orphanage. The life change came after witnessing teammate Jonathan Richter struck by lightning during a match in July. I wish him luck for such a bold move.

It’s Dr. Paul Morris, of the University of Portsmouth, to the rescue. The good doctor is an expert on the embodiment of emotions and intentions and claims to know when a foul is a foul and a dive is a dive. He calls the number one tell the ‘Archer’s Bow.’ Well now that that’s been settled, I’m sure we won’t see another dive in a competitive match.

And yes, we will end with the latest coming out of ‘Manu-Gate.’ Arsene Wenger continues to rip Mark Hughes for defending Adebayor. I find this hilarious considering the Frenchman has been known to vigorously defend his own players, sometimes even going as far as claiming temporary blindness.

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Nobody Says No To Stevie G



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The next Joey Barton?

The next Joey Barton?

The Steven Gerrard affray (i.e. starting a bar brawl) trial began this morning in England, and things aren’t looking good for Captain Liverpool. According to prosecutor David Turner, after being denied his song request by the DJ, ‘(Gerrard) was clearly walking around pondering, musing over what had happened-about the man who said ‘no’ to Steven Gerrard.’ After a few minutes, Gerrard allegedly went back and began to pummel the DJ ‘with the style and speed of a professional boxer.’ And we thought Jamie Carragher was the only fighter on the team.

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Adidas Barbershop Artwork



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To celebrate the Confederations Cup being played in South Africa for the first time, Adidas has created a series of ‘barbershop’ artwork that honors Kaka, Lionel Messi, Steven Gerrard and hometown hero Steven Pinaar. In Africa, to have a haircut named after you, such as the ‘Denzel,’ is one of the highest honors one can receive. The name of the campaign is Kopanya, a South African word that means together. The Confederations Cup begins on June 14 with the final to be played on June 28. The countries competing are Brazil, Spain, Italy, South Africa, Egypt, Iraq, New Zealand and the United States.

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Take A Break



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vacation

I don’t know what it is about the international break that loosens footballers’ lips? When they’re with their clubs, it’s the same mixture of bland quotes: ‘Football’s a game of two halves,’ We’ve got to stick together,’ or ‘No, I don’t think the gaffer’s a fucking idiot for playing me out of position.’ Maybe it’s the break from the monotony of day-to-day training with the same players and the same coaches. Or perhaps flying out of town for a week has a holiday feel to it. Whatever the reason, I appreciate this unique type of BS that the players are slinging.

What a difference ten days can make. A week and a half ago, Liverpool had conceded the title to Manchester United and the future of ‘Facts’ Benitez was in doubt. Now they’re the world’s greatest team and the ‘Fact Man’ is the greatest manager in the history of the sport. And apparently, if you believe nobody Alvaro Arbeloa, Liverpool are about to become bigger than The Beatles. I guess he’s not one for hyperbole.

Now that fortunes have turned in the Reds’ favor, their captain Steven Gerrard wants to stay at Anfield for the rest of his career. Or until the next time they finish in third place. And not only does he want to stay, Gerrard actually believes in Benitez’ management style. And it only took five years—way to come around captain kiss the camera. Now if only Fabio Capello would let him play like he wants.

It’s good to know that Manchester United’s recent form hasn’t worried left-back Patrice Evra. The Frenchman calls United’s losses to Liverpool and Fulham ‘a little accident.’ Teammate Darren Fletcher agrees, only he calls the losses ‘blips.’ I guess if United blow the title, they’ll just call it a trivial little nothing.

What’s not trivial to Evra is the behavior of the French fans. He claims the French lack a football culture. He also goes on to speculate whether or not the French even like football. That should get the fans on your side and stop the boos from raining down.

Why has the Ledley King story has become as huge as it has? He’s a fine player the ten games a year he plays. That’s why I don’t understand why Capello would want to include him in a World Cup squad. He can’t play two Saturdays in a row, how could he possibly play a World Cup tournament schedule? Anyway, Capello’s angry at Spurs and Spurs are angry at the English FA for what happened to King under Steve McClaren. And Steve McClaren’s angry at the guy who sold him that umbrella.

Speaking of buying and selling, apparently you can now buy Portsmouth for the price of Robinho. And the sad thing is there are more offers for the drug using, bad penalty taking Brazilian. Sorry about the drug reference Robbie, please don’t sue me.

While we’re on the topic of money, UEFA wants to limit the amount of players per squad in order to keep wage bills down. Predictably, PFA boss Gordon Taylor is completely against it.

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Back At It



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The Drunk is a fighter, and an o-fer day isn’t going to deter him from making picks. Sure there’s been a lot of bravado in this space recently, but I’m back today to set things right. And for those of you who blame me for lost money, you shouldn’t be gambling anyway.

We’re not sure how Panathinaikos got to this stage of the tournament, but they’re here and Villarreal is glad to host them. They’ve never won in Spain and today isn’t the day to end that streak.
The pick: Yellow Submarine 2 – Random Guys from Greece 0

Didier Drogba expects his team to score four goals against Juventus. That’s not going to happen, but you can’t hate a man for being optimistic. The Blues have a new man in charge and a new attitude, while Juve have only won twice in their last five
The pick: Chelski 1 – Juve 0

Bayern may only sit fourth in the Bundesliga but they have been on fire in the Champions League–accumulating 14 points in the group stage. Combine that form with the anger from losing at home to Cologne over the weekend and you have some dangerous Germans. Sporting is just happy to be here.
The pick: Lederhosen 1 – Lisbians 0

Two massive clubs, star players, blah, blah, blah. The only important factor is whether or not Steven Gerrard plays. As of this time we don’t know, but I’ll just assume Captain Liverpool suits it up. Expect a game full of missed chances and repeated shots of Arjen Robben on the ground.
The pick: Red Shirts 0 – White Shirts 0

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Welcome to Natural Hat Trick!



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A fan for life.

A fan for life.

On behalf of myself, Steve Martin, and The Angry Drunk, I would like to welcome everyone to our site. Normally the Daily Thought will be a short article about whatever interesting football related topics that may have infiltrated our nocturnal thoughts (it’s not always visions of porno movie shoots). But on this, the first day of our site, I just wanted to introduce ourselves, and tell you why the hell we’re doing this. Our mission is simple – to celebrate all things football (La Liga, wasted WAGs, Indonesian U-15s, Stevie G in court, etc.) through original commentary, photos and videos. A grand ambition indeed, but as recession-hit, hopeless football addicts, we have nothing else to do. Fortunately, we have money to pay the cable bill, can still piggyback wi-fi off of our neighbors, and we even have some credit left at the corner deli. And surprisingly enough, this keeps the Drunk from drinking before noon. But in all seriousness, we want this to become a virtual pub for football fans: A place where you come to not only get information, but also to share your opinions. So we’ve included plenty of discussion topics, polls, and chat rooms to give our fellow football fans a proper voice. We want to hear your opinions, and hope that together, we can create an interactive community where football fans can come and get to know each other, learn from each other, and engage in meaningful discussion about the topics that affect the game we have love (non-so-meaningful friendly banter also more than encouraged). So drop us a note and tell us about yourselves, your favorite clubs and your favorite match day beverage.

 

 

 

Thanks for visiting,

 

Jason Parker

Editor-In-Chief

 

P.S.: Much thanks to the Poopmaster for putting this thing together. And a shout out to the kids at WooThemes for a kick-ass theme and assistance.

 

P.P.S: Please forgive whatever glitches you may encounter while looking around. A good deal of this site was crafted with the help of Svedka vodka.

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