Tag Archive | "Real Madrid"

The Drunk’s Back With Winners



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You can bet your balls that the Drunk's got picks.

You can bet your balls that the Drunk's got picks.

So you may be wondering where I’ve been, and the answer is a little place called none-of-your-g*d-damn-business. Actually after giving you so many winners last year, I decided to take a rest from being the best handicapper on the web Natural Hat Trick. So instead of giving you just three money picks, I’m going to give you the result of all eight of today’s matches. Bold I know, but then again I am The Drunk. Let’s hit it. Read the full story

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A Bolt Of Lightning Everywhere



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usainbolt

Well it’s the last day of the international break and let’s hope our favorite players don’t get Tevezed before they return to their clubs. While club football may have been on a break, conspiracy theories and over-inflated egos didn’t. Nor did we take a break (don’t forget to follow us on Twitter.)

The world’s fastest man and, apparently, the world’s number one celebrity football supporter, Usain Bolt, will be a guest of the English FA as England take on Croatia in a World Cup qualifier. Not that long after palling around with best mate Cristiano Ronaldo in Madrid last week, he’ll be at Wembley rooting on England. The Jamaican sprinter is such an England fan he even used the word ‘we’ when talking about today’s match.

He may not be as fast of foot as Bolt, but Didier Drogba is quick to pat himself on the back. The former want away striker, who has now declared himself Chelsea-for-life, claims that he’s an unselfish player who doesn’t, ‘look at my scoring statistics.’ I agree with him. The way he got himself red carded during the 2008 Champions League final so that John Terry could be forced to take a penalty was definitely soulless selfless.

Another man who doesn’t mind taking one for the team is Manchester United midfielder and Scottish captain Darren Fletcher. The hard-nosed player has encouraged his teammates to question their opposite number if they’re ‘up for a battle?’ He also goes on to say he’ll be ‘in your face and kicking at your ankles.’ I’m sure those are comforting words for Arsene Wenger after he questioned Fletcher‘s role on the pitch during the last Manchester United v. Arsenal match.

Wenger’s problems with the Scottish aren’t restricted to the playing field. He blames the Eduardo diving suspension on, ‘Scottish people working at UEFA.’ David Gold, former chief executive of the Scottish FA and current UEFA general secretary, has come out and explained that, ‘It’s not all pals together’ at UEFA. No word if he was having a glass of red wine with Sir Alex Ferguson at the time of the statement.

Old pal Juande Ramos has been tipped for a return to football. After resurrecting his reputation at Real Madrid after his Tottenham debacle, the Spaniard is rumored to replace Leonardo at AC Milan. Like Martin Jol (now at Ajax after a successful stint at Hamburg), Ramos is finding that being fired from White Hart Lane might be the best thing to happen to a manager.

And let’s end on a truly joyous note (for once). Liverpool fan Michael Shields, who was incarcerated four years for a crime he didn’t commit after Liverpool’s Champions League victory in Turkey in 2005, has been released from prison today. Congratulations Michael.

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Very Funny Papa Bendtner



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'My Dad thinks I'm great.'

'My Dad thinks I'm great.'

After signing a five-year extension with Arsenal, Nicklas Bendtner’s father/agent, Thomas, claimed that some of the ‘biggest clubs in the world’ (i.e. Barcelona, Inter Milan, Bayern München) were after the not-so-great Dane. Of course, Bendtner turned them down to stay with Arsenal, where he has developed ‘both on and off the pitch.’ (Nightclub episodes aside.) I find it hard to believe that any of those clubs would look at his 14 goals in 61 matches for Arsenal and would line up to sign him. But stranger things have happened—Real Madrid did sign Julien Faubert last season.

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Over The Top



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Following Real Madrid’s 3-2 victory over Deportivo La Coruna Saturday, new best friends Cristiano Ronaldo and Usain Bolt engaged in some arm wrestling, ‘lightening bolt’ posing, and mutual ego stroking.

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Thank God That’s Over



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jonhheitinga

Everton's big signing?

In a rather unexciting end to the summer transfer season (Johnny Heitinga to Everton!) it only seems proper that today’s news is a little lacking in excitement as well. But it’s the news roundup and it’s what we do at Natural Hat Trick. Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter to get more of our wonderful ramblings.

In the great diving case of 2009, Arsenal vow to appeal striker Eduardo’s two match Champions League ban. That shouldn’t come as much of a surprise considering they’ve spent the better part of a week saying that they would. The real shocker here is that Scotland and Sunderland keeper Craig Gordon says diving is worth it if it can advance you in a major tournament. Maybe Arsene Wenger should take Gordon with him to the UEFA offices when they go for their appeal. And I’m sure Mr. Gordon has endeared himself to his fellow keepers with those remarks.

On the subject of goalkeepers, David James, the only decent Portsmouth player not allowed to leave the club, is worried that playing for relegation fodder Pompey will hurt his chances of being England’s number one keeper in South Africa. In a move that I can only believe will make James feel worse, chief executive Peter Storrie has told James that instead of worrying about England, there’s plenty of competition at Pompey he has to worry about. I’ll bet that James won’t take it too kindly that the competition he should be worried about is Asmir Begovic, Antti Niemi and Jamie Ashdown. I can see David shaking in his boots as we speak.

One Portsmouth player who did manage to escape the sinking ship, Niko Kranjcar, has announced he is not at Tottenham to replace the injured Luka Modric. That’s strange since no one mentioned him going to Spurs until after Modric broke his leg.

In other overconfident news, newly acquired Sylvinho has announced that Manchester City teammate Robinho is one of the five best players in the world. He claims that City’s summer signings have surrounded the striker with better players that will help him shine. Funny, I thought the Real Madrid team that Robinho was forced out of had some fairly decent players.

And we end with some ‘where are they now’ news. Former Paris-Saint-Germain and Newcastle star David Ginola has been charged with being a deadbeat father in France. He’s facing hefty fines and a two year prison sentence. He, of course, denies the allegations. Looks like he better hope they make a Finding Nemo 2 so he can make a little extra cash.

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End Of Summer



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endofsummer

We hoped you missed us and we apologize for the delayed summer vacation. But quite frankly the transfer season bores the hell out of us. My daily dose of where will David Bentley end up lobotomized me into a drooling stupor. I admit that Real Madrid’s Galacticos Part Deux and Manchester City’s attempt to buy their way into the big boys club in the BPL definitely piqued my interest. But since those were the two biggest stories of the summer, we figured you had heard enough about them. Plus there will be plenty of time to talk about them, and besides, we’re really lazy bastards during the summer. But now that the season’s back, so are we. So please continue to compulsively check us out and you can now even follow us on Twitter. So thanks for your patience and let’s get to the juicy business of football.

Nothing says the start of the football season like controversy. And I’m not talking about a certain French manager who coaches a team in England and who has an issue with UEFA and a team from England bossed by a certain Scottish fellow (although we will get to that in a minute). No, we’re actually going to start in the Bundesliga, where perhaps the only big name player Real Madrid didn’t buy, Franck Ribery, isn’t getting along with new Bayern manager Louis van Gaal. But then it seems as if the Dutch manager isn’t even that chummy with his own family.

Meanwhile the Croatian FA has gone all conspiracy theory on us. After Lee Bowyer broke Luka Modric’s leg this past weekend, FA president Vlatko Markovic wonders if it was really an accident. After losing Arsenal youngster Eduardo to a broken leg last season against Birmingham, Vlatko wonders if the Blues are out to get them. Of course Birmingham is aghast at the allegation. Of course with England set to play Croatia in a World Cup Qualifying match next week, it does make you wonder (cue X-Files theme song).

Speaking of Eduardo, the ‘light of constitution’ striker has been handed a two game ban for his theatrics against Celtic in last week’s Champions League match.

Manchester United’s economical striker is in ‘awe’ of the talent surrounding him at the club. He says he sees his teammates do things in training that he wouldn’t even attempt. That should certainly come as a shock to Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger, who isn’t a big fan of United’s playing style.

In case you care…David Bentley has been loaned to Burnley.

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Ronaldo Upgrades



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ronaldospainhome

'La Finca' is a stinka.

Looks like Cristiano Ronaldo has put the £220,000 a week Real Madrid is paying to not so good use. The £80m man has splashed out a reported £8m for the hideous 36-room mansion–called ‘La Finca’–that resembles an elementary school. While not pleasing to my eye, the extra space should ensure that his many female conquests won’t have to run into each other on the way to the bathroom at night. Meanwhile, back in England, new Manchester City mercenary Emmanuel Adebayor bought Ronaldo’s old house for £5.5m—which is £1.65m more than the Petulant Portugueser paid just last February. Adebayor beat out fellow money-chasers teammates Kolo Toure, Gareth Barry and Carlos Tevez for the right to find Ronaldo’s old Speedos in the closet. Now who says there’s a housing crisis?

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Ronaldo Takes Oasis Over The Beatles



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'Champagne Supernova' makes him weak in the knees.

'Champagne Supernova' makes him weak in the knees.

He may have done all he could to move from Manchester United to Real Madrid, but Cristiano Ronaldo is still at ‘Manc’ at heart. Taking a swipe at former rivals Liverpool, the Portuguese pretty boy claims that Manchester’s Oasis are a better band than that little group from Liverpool known as The Beatles. While most of us know that’s as off-base as some of his fashion choices, you have to respect his loyalty. Maybe he will return to Old Trafford one day.

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Rovers Hang Tough



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Watch Real Madrid’s ‘other’ signing, Karim Benzema, do what Real Madrid’s most expensive galáctico couldn’t—score against Shamrock Rovers. But not that anyone else did as the Irish side gave Madrid all they could handle. Unlike some other teams we’ve seen this pre-season.

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Manchester United’s Got Seoul



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In yet another attempt by Manchester United to convince Asians that they should root for them and not Real Madrid or Manchester City, United have produced these two thought provoking commercials to promote their upcoming Asia Tour 2009.

The first spot is just plain unfunny or maybe it’s because I don’t understand Malaysian humor that I don’t find it humorous. Either way, in just thirty seconds it leaves me with so many questions. Why is Wayne Rooney laughing? Is he making fun of the Malaysian language? Is Manchester United mocking Malaysians while asking them to give them money? Why is Michael Carrick included in the spot? Do Malaysians love Michael Carrick? Watch and see if you don’t think about these things.

The second one asks the players what they think about the city of Seoul. The most entertaining part of the entire ad is how little the players want to be a part of it. It’s like they caught them on their way to their cars after training and forced them to shoot a commercial. Watch how quickly Ryan Giggs runs off after he’s done. But it’s always fun to see Nemanja Vidic speak. One question: Why is Park Ji Sung speaking in English? Even if it is for the English market, it’s about Korea. They could have sub-titled it. I don’t know, just seems strange to me.

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