While I’ve been recovering in my sick bed from my recent accident, people in the football world seem to be having, um, well, a ball. But it’s not just unnamed Liverpool supporters (who might want to follow my lead and drop out of sight for a while) who have embarrassed themselves, some of the games elder statesmen have also been found looking foolish. (And I’m not talking about you Rio Ferdinand.) So for those who have missed it, the Daily Thought rundown has returned.

I’m not going to get into the whole beach ball debate or make another ‘life’s a beach joke’ (besides I already did that on Twitter), but it seems the lads at Leeds United haven’t had enough of it. And I’m pretty sure Liverpool should be more than ready for a Beach Ball Blanket Bingo party at Anfield this Sunday.

On the subject of Club Crisis, Daniel Agger makes the ‘no-shit’ observation of the week by announcing that Liverpool isn’t the same side without Steven Gerrard. To quote Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler, I ask ‘Really?’ As if anyone who watched Sunderland completely outplay them without Stevie G didn’t notice that.

Last season after more than a few nightclub incidents involving his players, Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp issued a nightclub ban. I guess old Harry won’t be too happy to see these pictures of Peter Crouch and Jonathan Woodgate busting moves (if you can call it that) on the dance floor late last Saturday night.

At least those two young men were able to get into the club. After being denied entrance into a nightclub Cheltenham manager Martin Allen (on the job all of one month) decided to racially abuse the bouncer and challenge him to a fight. Not exactly a good way to endear yourselves to the club staff or your employers. The 44-year-old wannabe party boy has been suspended from his job until further notice.

Perhaps with his time off he can call up former English legend Paul Gasciogne. Gascoigne—who’s no stranger to drunken outbursts—has gotten himself into further trouble by head butting a bouncer at a Newcastle snooker club. (I assume that’s a fancy pool hall.) Maybe these two old timers should just take a cue from Crouchy and Woody and just learn to enjoy themselves on the dance floor.

Happy Birthday, Arsene Wenger. The Arsenal manager turns sixty on Thursday and claims he wants to be in football until he dies. And I’m sure you won’t see the football focused manager celebrating his special day at a nightclub. Actually, it’s a lot lamer than that. He plans on a dinner with the wife and exciting Europa League action. I’m sure the wife can’t wait. I can picture her calling Mad Dog and Gazza to see what they’re up to that night.

I’d like wish a fond farewell to Sweden and Celtic legend Henrik Larsson. The 38-year-old has decided to hang it up November 1. If only I could tell him how much I enjoyed his career in person.

It’s also the end for legend in name only Dean Windass. If only I could tell him in person how much I enjoyed making Windass jokes.

We hoped you missed us and we apologize for the delayed summer vacation. But quite frankly the transfer season bores the hell out of us. My daily dose of where will David Bentley end up lobotomized me into a drooling stupor. I admit that Real Madrid’s Galacticos Part Deux and Manchester City’s attempt to buy their way into the big boys club in the BPL definitely piqued my interest. But since those were the two biggest stories of the summer, we figured you had heard enough about them. Plus there will be plenty of time to talk about them, and besides, we’re really lazy bastards during the summer. But now that the season’s back, so are we. So please continue to compulsively check us out and you can now even follow us on Twitter. So thanks for your patience and let’s get to the juicy business of football.

Nothing says the start of the football season like controversy. And I’m not talking about a certain French manager who coaches a team in England and who has an issue with UEFA and a team from England bossed by a certain Scottish fellow (although we will get to that in a minute). No, we’re actually going to start in the Bundesliga, where perhaps the only big name player Real Madrid didn’t buy, Franck Ribery, isn’t getting along with new Bayern manager Louis van Gaal. But then it seems as if the Dutch manager isn’t even that chummy with his own family.

Meanwhile the Croatian FA has gone all conspiracy theory on us. After Lee Bowyer broke Luka Modric’s leg this past weekend, FA president Vlatko Markovic wonders if it was really an accident. After losing Arsenal youngster Eduardo to a broken leg last season against Birmingham, Vlatko wonders if the Blues are out to get them. Of course Birmingham is aghast at the allegation. Of course with England set to play Croatia in a World Cup Qualifying match next week, it does make you wonder (cue X-Files theme song).

Speaking of Eduardo, the ‘light of constitution’ striker has been handed a two game ban for his theatrics against Celtic in last week’s Champions League match.

Manchester United’s economical striker is in ‘awe’ of the talent surrounding him at the club. He says he sees his teammates do things in training that he wouldn’t even attempt. That should certainly come as a shock to Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger, who isn’t a big fan of United’s playing style.

In case you care…David Bentley has been loaned to Burnley.

They say there are two sides to every story, and the truth lies somewhere in the middle. Or in the case of most things that are reported in the football world, there’s no truth at all. But that’s what makes it fun. Unlike watching Guus Hiddink’s Chelsea warriors ‘stifle’ Barcelona.

Are they or aren’t they going to be the biggest club in the Championship? That’s the question hanging over Newcastle’s heads these days. If you ask Legend #2 Alan Shearer, the answer is that they’re not going down. But Michael Owen isn’t so sure. The Premiership will miss you Toon Army.

Martin O’Neill doesn’t mind a little competition. Unlike many in England, the Aston Villa boss thinks that Celtic and Rangers joining the Premiership is a good thing. After finding out how hard it is to crack the top four, you think he wouldn’t want to add to the degree of difficulty.

Speaking of difficult, it must be hell to be Andrei Arshavin. First, he has to convince his wife to live in that terrible city of London, while making millions of pounds in the process. And now he finds out that his Arsenal teammates are jealous of him. I guess it’s hard being the king. And for Mikael Silvestre, it’s hard letting go of the past. At least they should be safe from bird flu.

What’s with the love fest between Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger? Through the years the two have had a less than warm relationship, but now they can’t say enough nice things about each other. At least Karl-Heinz Rummenigge has some harsh words for the Professor of the Emirates.

Mea culpas all around at Tottenham. Not that it should make Jermaine Jenas any happier, but referee Howard Webb has admitted he was wrong to award Manchester United a penalty over the weekend. And Harry Redknapp has apologized for pretty much calling Darren Bent a woman earlier this season. Better late than never, eh Darren?

It's Derby Day!

I love being right. I also love the feeling of money in my pocket and pride in my chest. Last week I gave you three picks, and they were all right. If you didn’t believe in The Drunk last week, now’s your chance to get on the bandwagon. And this is a special week, as I pick three of the largest derbies in the world. Pay attention because here come three more winners.

Let’s start off in Scotland. The land that gave us whisky and Sean Connery also gives us one of the most intense rivalries in all of sport. That’s right; we’re talking Rangers vs. Celtic. To say there is no love lost between these two would be an insult to both supporters. This is hatred and for the top of the league. Both have been inconsistent but Rangers has shown a little more form as of late.
The pick: Pickled Protestants 2 – Crocked Catholics 1

The next one is for all the tulips. Ajax host Feyenoord. This is a battle of opposites. Liberal, cultured Amsterdam battles blue-collar, conservative Rotterdam. Normally this game is for more than pride, but this season Feyenoord sits in 12th place and nineteen points behind Ajax. That should make for an extra feisty match.
The pick: The Stoners 3 – Racists from Rotterdam 1

We’ll end our derby day in Milan. They share a city, a stadium and not much else. AC Milan may be the club of superstars, but Inter has won the past three Scudettos. Milan may have Beckham, but they won’t have Kaka for this match.
The pick: Mourinho’s Maulers 1 – Beckham’s Boys 0