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As we discussed last week, this young season has been full of controversy. First, we had ‘Eduardo-gate’ (now resolved), then ‘Kiddie-gate’, and now ‘Manu-gate’. Yes, I am over-using the ‘Gate’ thing, but can you over-do something that’s so overdone? And if you can, I don’t care, adding ‘Gate’ to things is fun to me.

In case you didn’t notice this weekend, ex-Arsenal and current Manchester City ‘star’ Emmanuel Adebayor took on his former team. And let’s just say that he had a full game. He scored a goal, kicked ex-teammate Robin Van Persie in the face and taunted the Arsenal fans with his goal celebration. And for all of this, he’s facing some serious suspensions. This story has it all, Adebayor is confused by all of the furor over his actions, manager Mark Hughes defends his player’s actions, Van Persie doesn’t accept Manu’s apology and even Roy Keane has given his two cents. La Liga might have the world’s top players, but the BPL has all of the drama. F*ck the new Melrose Place, this is must see TV.

In non-face stomping Arsenal news, Andrei Arshavin has put a gag order on his wife’s loose lips. Just thought you’d like to know.

Good news for Liverpool fans. After reporting on Liverpool ending their sponsorship agreement with Carlsberg, the club has reached an agreement with Standard Chartered Bank for an astounding £80m for four years. Word is the deal will enable the club to build their long rumored new stadium and even buy a player or two. Why do I think neither of these things will happen? Oh, right because it’s the Hicks and Gillett run Liverpool.

Roman Abromovich isn’t one known to be shy to splash the cash, but apparently all the money in the world won’t help you tackle Mount Kilimanjaro. After reportedly suffering from altitude related sickness, Chelsea has released a statement refuting that. Why they felt the need to do so, I have no idea. But in a world of 24-hour news coverage, ‘Altitude-gate’ is a story.

In some more money-related news, English clubs have pocketed nearly twice as much Champions League money as Spanish sides over the past six seasons. In fact England’s ‘Big Four’ hold the top four places among all Champions League clubs. Now those are some figures to make one dizzy, and then distribute a press release saying that you weren’t.

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They say there are two sides to every story, and the truth lies somewhere in the middle. Or in the case of most things that are reported in the football world, there’s no truth at all. But that’s what makes it fun. Unlike watching Guus Hiddink’s Chelsea warriors ‘stifle’ Barcelona.

Are they or aren’t they going to be the biggest club in the Championship? That’s the question hanging over Newcastle’s heads these days. If you ask Legend #2 Alan Shearer, the answer is that they’re not going down. But Michael Owen isn’t so sure. The Premiership will miss you Toon Army.

Martin O’Neill doesn’t mind a little competition. Unlike many in England, the Aston Villa boss thinks that Celtic and Rangers joining the Premiership is a good thing. After finding out how hard it is to crack the top four, you think he wouldn’t want to add to the degree of difficulty.

Speaking of difficult, it must be hell to be Andrei Arshavin. First, he has to convince his wife to live in that terrible city of London, while making millions of pounds in the process. And now he finds out that his Arsenal teammates are jealous of him. I guess it’s hard being the king. And for Mikael Silvestre, it’s hard letting go of the past. At least they should be safe from bird flu.

What’s with the love fest between Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger? Through the years the two have had a less than warm relationship, but now they can’t say enough nice things about each other. At least Karl-Heinz Rummenigge has some harsh words for the Professor of the Emirates.

Mea culpas all around at Tottenham. Not that it should make Jermaine Jenas any happier, but referee Howard Webb has admitted he was wrong to award Manchester United a penalty over the weekend. And Harry Redknapp has apologized for pretty much calling Darren Bent a woman earlier this season. Better late than never, eh Darren?

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Class is a relative phrase when it comes to footballers. For some we speak of their class on the pitch, for others we speak about their lack of it in society. We also say how some clubs aren’t in the same class as others. So it should come as no surprise that today’s news is filled with talk about it. Pepe losing his gourd in yesterday’s Real Madrid vs. Getafe match—in a class of its own.

No one can dispute that Paul Scholes is pure class on the pitch, and he should be congratulated on reaching 600 appearances with Manchester United. But United legend Sir Bobby Charlton perhaps goes a little too far when he says that Scholes is the greatest Red Devil of all time.

While Scholes may have class in abundance, Fernando Torres doesn’t rate Manchester United in the same league as Barcelona, and feels they have ‘much more quality’ than United. He should know what he’s talking about, considering he plays with the likes of Dirk Kuyt and Lucas week in and week out.

Speaking of class (hey it’s the column topic), Andrei Arshavin’s four goal performance against Liverpool yesterday was full of it. And so was Arsene Wenger when he called the Russian one of the ‘great’ players of the era. He also managed to work in an extra jibe at the Wembley pitch as well. What a crafty guy that Wenger.

Michael Owen is a man who isn’t a stranger to receiving undeserved plaudits. He hasn’t scored this year, but that isn’t stopping Alan Shearer and Iain Dowie from counting on him to save Newcastle from relegation. If that’s their plan to save the club from the disaster of going down to the Championship, get ready for Swansea City Toon Army.

Stay classy Luca Toni. The season isn’t over and Bayern München still has a chance to win the Bundesliga, but he’s already stated his preference for next season’s manager. But what do you expect from a guy whose website looks like this.

Confusing and controversial Jose Mourinho says that the insults aimed at his Inter Milan teenage star Mario Balotelli by Juventus supporters last weekend weren’t racist. He claims they were just ‘ignorant.’ I didn’t know that there was intelligent racism. I learn something new every day.

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Those Russians really like to speak their minds. We’ve recently heard Andrei Arshavin share his thoughts on women drivers and his preference for women with “nice bums.” Now his Russian teammate Roman Pavlyuchenko, who plies his trade for Tottenham, has added his two cents. When speaking of the English cuisine, Roman puts it rather bluntly: “I don’t like their dishes. All they have is a simple canteen. At the Spartak training camp near Moscow the choice and quality of food is better.” And when it comes to women, the choice is obvious. “There can’t be any comparison,” he said. I don’t think there’s a man out there who’s going to argue with Roman on that one. But anyone who comes from the land of borscht and pickled herring really can’t comment on the food.

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In the second installment of Special 1 TV, Jose shares his thoughts on the January transfer window. He also asks Arsene Wenger about the legality of the Andrei Arshavin transfer. To see the episode click here.

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Everyone’s favorite Russian strikes again. Since this site began, we’ve gotten to know Arsenal’s latest signing as a karaoke star, loan shark, misogynist, and now (drum roll please) … DRESS DESIGNER. Apparently, he’s been at it since the age of 17, when he enrolled in the St. Petersburg University of Technology and Design. Just when you think you know someone. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t want women to drive. He knows how difficult it can be to shift gears in a tight fitting evening gown. Of course, he says he only did it “because there were lots of girls among the students.” I want to believe him. I really do

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If you want to make yourself look better in your girlfriend’s eyes, don’t stop watching football and surfing internet porn sites. Just give her a copy of Andrei Arshavin’s new book, 555 Questions and Answers On Women, Money, Politics, and Football. Not only is he a loan shark and a karaoke star, he also offers his views on life for you to use. After she reads his words of wisdom, you’ll look like a Birkenstock wearing, Women’s Studies degree holding, Betty Friedan quoting, new age man. Without spoiling this great work for you and your missus, here are some Andrei gems:

“I like tall, slim girls with narrow thighs and tiny bums. If a girl is like this I do not pay attention to her breasts. Hair colour doesn’t matter either. What is really important is her style and manners.”

Or there’s this gem.

“If I had it in my power to introduce a ban on women driving cars and to withdraw all their licenses, I would do it without thinking twice.”

So this Saturday, when you settle in for your marathon of footy and beer and your girl offers to make you a sandwich, don’t thank me: Thank Andrei.

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Thanks to the wonderful detectives of Law & Order we now know why the Andrei Arshavin transfer took so long. Apparently he has other business interests taking up his time.