Archive | THE SHED

Don’t Talk Smack About Nikoleta Lozanova


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She's good, fellas.

She's good, fellas.

It’s been a bad year for footballers and their Ferraris. But it wasn’t careless driving that led to this sport car’s demise—it was its driver’s motor mouth. Nikoleta Lozanova, Bulgaria’s ‘Playmate of the Year’ in 2006 is currently seeing Bulgarian mob boss Georgi ‘The Head’ Stoilov and is the former girlfriend of Liverpool reserve team keeper Nikolay Mihailov. It seems that Nikolay offended ‘The Head’ by joking to local Bulgarian media that his new girlfriend was a Ferrari and Lozanova was a broke down hoopty. Three days later, his Ferrari suffered an acid attack and the keeper went into hiding. Mihailov, currently on loan at FC Twente, must have picked up a few things from ‘Facts’ Benitez during his time at Liverpool—how to put your foot in your mouth.

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Posted in Jason Parker, WAG Biz1 Comment

Eva Does Everything


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Ain't no mountain too big for Eva.

Ain't no mountain too big for Eva.

We’re stretching it by calling Eva Angelica a WAG, considering her husband, Danny Mountain, hasn’t played professional football since he was 16. But since they’re both porn stars (and we love porn stars) and he still plays football as captain of Vinny Jones’ Hollywood FC, she makes WAG of the Moment.  Before he injured his knee, Danny was at the Southampton academy where he played against the likes of Joe Cole and Gareth Barry. She’s appeared in more than 160 films with such titles as Da Vinci Load and Face Invaders and (of course) has her own website (warning: site contains adult content…she’s a porn star, duh). Looks like that knee injury is the best thing that could’ve happened to old Danny boy.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (7 votes, average: 4.43 out of 5)
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Posted in Steve Martin, WAG Biz1 Comment

Bianca’s Bangin’


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My girl wants to party all the time.

My girl likes to party all the time.

While technically not a WAG (she claims to be single), she is the daughter of football royalty Paul Gascoigne, so that’s good enough for us. Rising to fame on British reality show Love Island, she’s also appeared in Maxim and Nuts. Like her father, she likes her booze, even though it appears she can’t hold her Guinness.

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Posted in Steve Martin, wag galleryComments Off

Call Her Mount St. Jessica


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Jessica's always ready.

Jessica's always ready.

Jessica Geneux is an Argentine glamour model who’s currently dating three penalty missing pariah Martín Palermo. She’s most well known for this wonderful quote, ‘I like to play erotic games with Martín, and that’s my right. People should understand there’s no love-making timetable for a woman like me. I can do it in the morning, afternoon or evening, or all at once, non-stop during the same day. I’m like a dirty volcano.’  I’d let her lava flow all over me.

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Posted in Steve Martin, WAG Biz8 Comments

Izabel Goulart Is Heaven Sent


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Send me an angel.

Send me an angel.

This Brazilian bombshell started off as a Victoria’s Secret model, but decided to hand in her wings to become the face of Armani Exchange last summer. It was also during this time she became linked romantically with FC Lokomotiv Moscow midfielder Diniyar Bilyaletdinov. Like so many of her ilk, she’s also tried her hand at ‘acting,’ appearing on such TV shows as Two and a Half Men and Entourage. But Izabel also has a heart of gold; yesterday she was named the International Ambassador for the Diabetes Research Institute Foundation. If she seems too good to be true, that’s because she is. Well, at least too good for mere mortals like you and me.

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Posted in Jason Parker, WAG BizComments Off

Pistol Whipped


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ginapistol

Gina measures up.

Gina Pistol is most famous for appearing in Romanian Playboy six times. But now she’s added WAG to her portfolio since becoming Stuttgart forward Ciprian Marica’s girlfriend this winter. Marica may have only put it in the back of the net five times in 46 league games, but he’s definitely scored here.

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Posted in Steve Martin, WAG BizComments Off

Aida Is Alright


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Yes, Yes, Yes...Yespica

Yes, Yes, Yes...Yespica

I don’t want to say that Aida Yespica has gotten around, but she is a woman on the move. After finishing runner-up in the Miss Venezuela contest in 2002, she decided to take her ample assets to Milan. Since arriving, she’s appeared in magazines such as Maxim and Playboy, but it’s Italy’s version of Celebrity Survivor that really made her famous. She’s also known as the woman that got Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi in hot water with his wife. It seems his wife got upset when he told Aida that he would’ve married her if he were single. She’s previously been linked with serial modelizers Filippo Inzaghi and Bruce Willis; but is currently dating Genoa midfielder Matteo Ferrari. Fortunately, unlike other WAGs she isn’t launching a singing career, but she does like to take her clothes off.

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Posted in Steve Martin, WAG BizComments Off

Baby You Can Drive My Car


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Federica is very fine.

Federica Fontana is very f-f-fine.

Federica Fontana is just your average tall, blond, beautiful Italian model, actress, sports highlight show hosting girl next door. But before that she was just an ordinary beauty pageant contestant. At the age of 18, she placed third in Italy’s “Bellissima” (Most Beautiful) contest. If she came in third, I can only imagine what the top two finishers must have looked like. I also wonder what lucky bastard got to judge that contest. I’m sure one of the judges was a footballer. Oh, and if she isn’t hot enough, she once reportedly said, “My car must be fast and comfortable.”

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Posted in Steve Martin, WAG Biz, wag gallery1 Comment

Power of the Ponytail, Part II


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Another week. Another ponytail.

Another week. Another ponytail.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. When we started the Golden Comb, it was meant to be open to all kinds of hairstyles. But for the second week in a row, the power of the ponytail lives. This week’s winner is Andrey Voronin of Hertha Berlin. Andrey fired his team to the top of the Bundesliga for the first time since October 2006 with a brace against German giants Bayern München. Voronin, who’s on loan from Liverpool, previously stated his desire to return to Anfield. But after seeing what it’s like to be an integral part of a team at the top of the table, Andrey may soon be singing a different tune.

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Posted in golden comb, Jason ParkerComments Off

Power of the Ponytail


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El pelo bueno.

El pelo bueno.

Step up Sergio Garcia; you’re the first winner of the Golden Comb. The Golden Comb goes to the player whose exploits on the pitch match the greatness of his hair. While there may be flashier hairstyles in La Liga than his stringy mess of a ponytail, Sergio scored the opening goal as Real Betis won at the home of their rivals Sevilla for the first time in thirteen years. That goal was the winger’s sixth in nineteen appearances for the club, proving that he was worth the ten million Euros Betis paid for him this summer. Now go hit the showers, and don’t forget to lather, rinse and repeat.

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Posted in golden comb, Jason ParkerComments Off

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