Categorized | The Angry Drunk

The Drunk’s Back With Winners

You can bet your balls that the Drunk's got picks.

You can bet your balls that the Drunk's got picks.

So you may be wondering where I’ve been, and the answer is a little place called none-of-your-g*d-damn-business. Actually after giving you so many winners last year, I decided to take a rest from being the best handicapper on the web Natural Hat Trick. So instead of giving you just three money picks, I’m going to give you the result of all eight of today’s matches. Bold I know, but then again I am The Drunk. Let’s hit it.

Juventus v Bordeaux: The Old Lady seems to be back with three wins in three Serie A matches so far. Les Girondins won Ligue 1 last season and are off to a good start as well. Juve is without midfield star Diego and Bordeaux have never won in Italy. Not gonna happen today either. Foot Locker Salesmen 1 – Winemakers 0.

Bayern Munchen v Maccabi Haifa FC: In what should be one of the more interesting matches today, the German giants travel to Israel for Maccabi Haifa’s first home Champions League match. Expect the crowd to be a little more than into it. After a slow Bundesliga start, Bayern has got it rolling—especially new addition Arjen Robben. Expect a back and forth match. Die Weisswursts 2 – The Greens 1.

Wolfsburg v CSKA Moscow: Another promising match pits last year’s Bundesliga champions against perennial Russian power CSKA. Both have new coaches and have gotten off to slow league starts. CSKA players have more international experience and play well on the road in European competition. Der Volkswagens 0 – Ramos’ Russians 1.

Besiktas v Manchester United: Last year’s runners up start the competition with a trip to Istanbul, never an easy place to play. It should be a tough test for the English champions, but they should have enough class to withstand the pressure. Interesting better’s note, the last time Wayne Rooney faced Besiktas goalkeeper Rüstü Recber he scored a hat trick. Post-Ronaldos 2 – Besiktas 0.

FC Zürich v Real Madrid: In what should be the mismatch of the day, the Galacticos Part 2 should run all over the overmatched alpine boys. And we know if they don’t the white hankies will be out in full force. Even Zurich manager Bernard Challandes is preparing for the worst. He’s already talking about his players getting excited to swap shirts with Madrid’s stars. This one’s over at half. Superstars of Spain 4 – Swiss Missers 0.

Olympique de Marseille v AC Milan: A rematch of the 1993 Champions League final, Milan has fallen a long way since those early 90s glory days. After getting embarrassed by rivals Inter Milan and weakly drawing at lowly Livorno, Milan (and Ronaldinho) must prove they’re not over the hill. Marseille are no push over, especially at the Velodrome. Sad stat for Milan—Pato is the only one to score for them this season. Ouch. Velodromers 1 – Bocce Boys 0.

Chelsea v FC Porto: The last time we saw Chelsea in this competition, they failed to hold on to a one goal lead with a man advantage in the Champions League semi-final and then proceeded to lose their sh*t. Offender number one Didier Drogba will be sitting this one out, but it shouldn’t affect the London club. Porto is always a tough out in this tournament, but look for the Blues to control this match. True Sportsmen 3 – Poor Portuguesers 1.

Atletico Madrid v. APOEL FC: Did you know APOEL are the champions of Cyprus? Isn’t that good for them? As always, Atletico is a team in turmoil, but Diego Forlan and Kun Aguero should be enough to beat APOEL on their own. Mattress Makers 3 – Cyprians 0.

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