Let’s Get Ready To Rumble


What a wild Wednesday in the BPL. Cristiano Ronaldo got into a fight with Newcastle’s Steven Taylor. West Ham’s Carlton Cole scored a goal and got sent off–all within three minutes. And John Pantsil claimed he was ‘abused’ by a Hull City player. It’s enough to make Ashley Cole want to drink.

I’m sure everyone has heard that Cashley was arrested last night on a charge of disorderly conduct after leaving a nightclub at 5 am. I just can’t imagine that someone as nice as he is would yell at a police officer. It looks like he needs a move to Spurs. That is, of course, if the offer is right.

After a horrible tackle which should have seen Taylor sent off, Ronaldo called him “rubbish.” Taylor responded by calling him “ugly.” The World Player of the Year then showed him his pay stub and photos of the women he’s bedded.

That wasn’t the only bust up in the match. Obafemi Martins elbowed Nemanja Vidic, leaving the United defender bloodied. Vidic licked the blood, laughed and then said, “I must break you.”

Over in Italy, the fists aren’t flying, but Francesco Totti has accused Inter Milan wunderkind Mario Balotelli of “ugly football.” He also suggests that the young man needs a good slap on the face. Which Totti will deliver when he’s recovered from his latest injury.

At least one fight is over and a winner has been announced. Didier Drogba’s agent has revealed that Chelsea had to decide between keeping his client or retaining Big Phil Scolari. After winning that battle, Drogba reaffirmed his desire to stay at Chelsea and see out his contract–which runs all the way to 2010. If only I can live that long to see that happen. No one can say Didier isn’t a long term planner.

Meanwhile, Manchester City continues to attempt to bring every great player to the City grounds. The latest player to turn down City is Lionel Messi. They are also waiting to be spurned by Arsene Wenger for the managerial post. But maybe there is hope for the Citizens to overpay for someone as they’ve been tracking a Recreativo Huelva player that no one has heard of.

Speaking of losing fights, LA Galaxy coach Bruce Arena expects David Beckham to return next week. I expect Federica Fontana to call me back, but that ain’t gonna happen either.

It looks like AC Milan players will have to fight for their money. Chairman Silvio Berlusconi has said that Milan will cut its budget by 30%. He also said the Galaxy will get nothing for Beckham and they’ll like it.

One man with an apparent love of getting the snot kicked out of him is Kevin Keegan. It’s been reported that the Messiah wants to return to the Newcastle bench to help them on their way to the Championship. More amazingly, owner Mike Ashley nixed the idea. I guess he wants to be remembered as the only one responsible for completely ruining the once-proud club.

I would like to end with a fond farewell to Boris Isayev. The Russian man died after winning a pancake-eating contest. Apparently no one can beat 43 banana and cream pancakes. Sad news indeed, but it does make me hungry.

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