Pointing The Finger

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John Greenleaf Whittier said, “Each crisis brings its word and deed.” My uncle had a more common way of putting it. He just said, “Put up or shut up.” As the football season hits the home stretch, it’s put up or shut up time for clubs around the world. Some people can’t do either; instead they keep talking and blame others for their predicaments. We call them footballers.

Sam Allardyce is attempting to take the focus off of his club’s relegation battle by calling Everton’s Tim Cahill “clever” because of his ability to avoid getting called for fouls. That’s a word that’s obviously never been used to describe Big Sam’s longball tactics.

Over in North London, Luka Modric doesn’t enjoy Cristiano Ronaldo’s antics on the pitch. Claiming that English football is a “masculine” game, he doesn’t see where Ronaldo’s theatrics fit in. Those are bold words coming from someone who still shops in the children’s section.

Sounds like Luka could use a drink, unfortunately Harry Redknapp has banned all booze at Tottenham. Looking like a man who well knows the inside of a pub, I think he just wants to have more to himself.

Of course not everyone is a greedy bastard. Look at poor David Beckham. He’s ready to pay his way out of his contract to stay at Milan. Luckily for the man that AC Milan coach Carlo Ancelotti recently called better than Kaka, he’s got a few bucks to spare. And pounds, euros and yen.

Dean Windass, a man without the money of Becks but a far catchier name, has quit Oldham. The Old Windy One has decided it’s better to ride the pine in the Premiership than in League One. He’s right though. The seats are a lot more comfortable at the Emirates than at Boundary Park.

Unlike Windass, Karl-Heinze Rummenigge is a man who doesn’t give up so easily. For the 101st time this month, he states that Franck Ribery isn’t leaving Bayern München this summer. He also says that a club can’t force a player to stay if he doesn’t want to play for a club. He then goes on to say that he really doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Let’s end this column with news of the apocalypse. TITUS BRAMBLE HAS BEEN CALLED A TOP-NOTCH DEFENDER. You may now kiss your loved ones good-by and wait for the end of time.

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