Categorized | Steve Martin

A Real Throwback

Not if Andrei had his way.

Not if Andrei had his way.

If you want to make yourself look better in your girlfriend’s eyes, don’t stop watching football and surfing internet porn sites. Just give her a copy of Andrei Arshavin’s new book, 555 Questions and Answers On Women, Money, Politics, and Football. Not only is he a loan shark and a karaoke star, he also offers his views on life for you to use. After she reads his words of wisdom, you’ll look like a Birkenstock wearing, Women’s Studies degree holding, Betty Friedan quoting, new age man. Without spoiling this great work for you and your missus, here are some Andrei gems:

“I like tall, slim girls with narrow thighs and tiny bums. If a girl is like this I do not pay attention to her breasts. Hair colour doesn’t matter either. What is really important is her style and manners.”

Or there’s this gem.

“If I had it in my power to introduce a ban on women driving cars and to withdraw all their licenses, I would do it without thinking twice.”

So this Saturday, when you settle in for your marathon of footy and beer and your girl offers to make you a sandwich, don’t thank me: Thank Andrei.

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2 Responses to “A Real Throwback”


  1. [...] this site began, we’ve gotten to know Arsenal’s latest signing as a karaoke star, loan shark, misogynist, and now (drum roll please) … DRESS DESIGNER. Apparently, he’s been at it since the age of 17, [...]

  2. [...] Russians really like to speak their minds. We’ve recently heard Andrei Arshavin share his thoughts on women drivers and his preference for women with “nice bums.” Now his Russian teammate Roman [...]


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